Things I hope you don't remember and will never forget

Wow!  You girls have grown up so fast.  Taylor, you are seven and starting first grade--and you tell me daily that you are learning nothing in school because you already know it all.  And I know you do, because you are the smartest, most sensitive, caring, and side splitting funniest kid I know.  And you Finley--you are three and can talk more than any human I've ever met (even me!).  But you are kind, smart, funny, and you have a smile that lights up any room.  You two, along with your amazing father, are truly my ultimate blessings from God.  Everyone who knows you both, loves you...and anyone who meets you both, falls IN love with you.

I am writing these letters to you so that when you look back twenty years from now at your childhood, you will remember a few certain things--and hopefully forget some things too!  I want you to remember this time in your lives as the time our family loved beyond our means, a time when we leaned heavily on God's promises and trusted fully in his healing powers, when our network of friends truly expanded our definition of family, kindness and humanity, and a time when an entire community rallied to pray specifically for one thing--our family.

This week (August 15, 2013) I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I'll share the entire week's saga with you both over a really nice meal and several bottles of wine when you over 21.  But for now all you need to know is I found a lump in my breast, I had a mammogram and biopsy, and BOOM!!  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  As you will realize when your older, we have absolutely no family history of CANCER, much less BREAST CANCER.  So this came as quite a shock to your Dad and me!  You also need to know to that as soon as word was out--the entire community (and I truly mean the entire community) put prayers into action that we are already seeing the results of.  And I want you both to know that prayer is the most powerful, peaceful, soul-filling act you could ever do.  And we can accomplish miracles through prayer and trust in God.  I meet with my oncologist this afternoon and my surgeon later this week to make a treatment plan to KICK THIS CANCER'S BUTT!  (by the way, you two have been running around the house all weekend, chanting ''Kick Cancer's Butt"--my heart is full every time I hear it, and you both just love finally being allowed to say the word butt!)

So, why am I doing this?  Well, it's much cheaper than therapy.  But seriously, I plan to use this blog as a way to document this journey with cancer FOR YOU!  I hope that when you are older, you are able to read these letters and will be able to remember the highlights--and the low lights--of what we endured as a FAMILY in a vividly candid way.  This is not just my journey, this is OUR journey!  This fight will have implications for both of your futures far beyond what any of us can imagine right now.  And I hope there are things you don't remember and will never forget...

I love you mostest--Mom