The holidays have come and gone...and we were blessed beyond belief this season. You girls had so much fun celebrating Jesus' birth and opening presents on Christmas. And I made sure to enjoy every minute of the craziness this year. In years past, I have taken the spirit and magic of Christmas for granted--I've been known to be a little Scrooge like at times. But this year, I made a conscious effort to see it all thru your eyes. I strategically took the holiday season slowly, cherishing every moment and memory. I loved watching you both squeal when you opened a present you had been wishing for. I lived for hearing you scream ''This is the best Christmas ever'' when you finally discovered the new trampoline in the backyard. I even treasured standing on my tired feet, baking and cooking for family celebrations. And I will forever remember how precious you both looked in your matching Christmas pajamas. One thing that I have learned from cancer is that I will try not to take another moment or memory for granted.
Luckily, we have had no more ''bumps'' on the chemotherapy road. After my last post (and by the grace of the Great Physician), my blood counts rebounded and were higher than they had been since starting this journey. We (my medical team and I) decided to finish off chemotherapy and then proceed with surgery. So as of today, I have two Taxol treatments left. One this Thursday, one the Thursday after that. Oh, I see the light--and it is shining bright!!
Back in August, the end felt so far away that I couldn't grasp what it would be like. But after five LONG months (and I mean really LONG months), we only have a week and a half to go. Although I've most recently felt physically well, only suffering from fatigue and muscle soreness every now and then, I realize how very emotionally drained I am. I am tired of going to treatment week after week after week. I am tired of the other ''subtle'' side effects...like bruised, blackened, and brittle nails. I am over the stiffness I feel every morning that makes getting out of bed challenging. And, more than anything, I am so over not having any hair. It didn't bother me at first (and I am still proudly rocking my no wig look), but I am OVER wearing hats EVERY SINGLE DAY!
With all that being said, I still see the light. I see the small hair growth (that looks more like a bad mullet right this moment). I see the clearness at the base of my nail beds. I know that in a couple of weeks from now, I will wake up and jump right out of bed--hopefully! I see the end of the chemotherapy road...and what a beautiful sight it is.
So girls, after chemotherapy ends, surgery is next on deck. It looks like it will be the second week of February. Now I know that surgery will be no easy task! But, luckily, I know that each day I will feel a little better than I did the day before. And the good news is, I don't have to start over every week like with chemo treatments. We are getting closer and closer to the end of this cancer journey. Oh, the light is so bright!
Love you the mostest--Mommy
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